My darling Katie Aileen,
Your beauty astounds me,
Your precious silky hair,
Your tiny button nose,
Upturned lips ready to smile, laugh, cry..
Express all the emotions we'll never see,
Never need to protect you from
Where did those funny pixie ears and long willowy limbs come from?
Must be your daddy

All our dreams you held
In your tiny perfect hands,
with the long nails..
Immaculate
So many unfulfilled dreams
with love and laughter in abundance
Hopes and aspirations
Oh my angel we wanted you so much

I have spent all my life wanting you, 8 months knowing you,
Growing every millimetre of your perfect tiny body,
Dancing with you to music you loved,
Playing with you in water,
Waiting and waiting,
Wanting to hold you in my arms
Giggling at every hiccup and wow what hiccups!
Listening to your heartbeat…
Until it stopped
So now my arms are just empty and aching

I know you're with the angels
You went directly to God,
We must have created you
With such love and perfection
You didn't need to spend time with us here on Earth
So wait for us Katie
Wait for us our darling daughter
We so want to hold you in our aching arms.

Alasdair MacKinnon Love

A Collection of Poems in Memory of Alasdair written by Alasdair's Mum

Alasdair MacKinnon Love

Our son has died, we can't know why
There's so much time to weep and sigh.
His time on Earth was all too short,
He did not have the life he ought.
And yet my heart is filled with joy,
When I but think of our baby boy.

His skin was flawless, he felt warm,
So like his Daddy in his form.
His hair was light, and soft like down,
We never had to see him frown.
He felt so lovely in my arms,
Our perfect child, with all his charms.

Our son has gone, we can't reach there,
It seems too great a grief to bear.
He's with our God, and many friends,
We'll all be joined at our lives' ends.
For now, when I feel that I can't cope,
I think of him, he is my hope.

Please don't say

Please don't say to me "You're young"
I feel I'm ninety-two.
This loss has made me twice my age,
And yet much younger too.
Late twenties may seem young to you,
With many years ahead,
But please just for a moment
Consider this instead:
My son was born and lived 12 hours.
That isn't very long.
In fact I think its fair to say
He was very, very young.
Our age gives no protection from what may come to pass,
Our life, dreams, hope, and future more fragile than any glass.

What do you get…

What do you get when your baby dies?
Condolences and platitudes that sound just like lies.
You cannot believe them, and neither would they
If they stopped for a moment to think what they say.

What do you get when your baby dies?
Memories that burn you and cut you like knives.
You long to remember with joy in your heart,
But remembering means its over and it should be the start.

What do you get when your baby dies?
An empty, bare crib where no baby cries.
Your home should be filled with new noises and sounds,
But its only lost hope you hear echo around.

What do you get when your baby dies?
Photos and keepsakes in place of their life.
You yearn for their warmth, but the things that you hold
Feel both fragile and precious, and so few, and so cold.

What do you get when your baby dies?
A lifetime to wonder and ask yourself why.
You want to believe that Life can't be so cruel,
But you know it's a game where there aren't any rules.

What do you get when your baby dies?
Savage, shameful feelings that crush your insides.
Anger and guilt, frustration and fear,
As you're silently screaming "Why am I here?"

What do you get when your baby dies?
Nothing you dreamed of, and no reasons why.
A future that's stolen, endless pain and despair,
The knowledge that what's broken is impossible to repair.

The Carpark

Traffic Sounds, and sometimes trains.
The summer sun, and summer rains.
A gentle breeze within the trees,
So much to feel, but not much to see.
Sometimes for minutes, and sometimes for hours,
No resisting the pull, I am called by its power.
The images fill me, many good, many bad.
The memories too, sometimes happy, often sad.
I think of what's happened, the loss of our son.
The weight makes me stay but I so want to run.
I so want to hold him, to touch his soft skin.
I've so much love for him, I can't keep it in.
But there's clothes and a blanket, in place of our boy,
And beautiful photos for a lifetime of joy.
I sit here and think, while the world carries on,
For what possible reason is our son gone?
And sometimes I wonder, as I sit in this place,
What to do with the feelings that cause me such disgrace.
I long to forgive, but who, what and how?
To feel happy again in the here and the now.
If wishing and hoping were only the cure,
I could heal myself now and move forward once more.
But what can I wish for when nothing seems real?
The impossible's happened, that wasn't the deal.
And so here I sit in a place "we" once knew,
Like the bank of a river I watch my feelings pass through.
Sometimes I'm caught by the current and swell,
I'm desperate for help but I'm too weak to yell.
Other times I am calm, I can see through the pain
To a time when our days will be happy again.
I can see a ghost me walking up to the door,
Joyful and anxious, its happening once more.
Being in this carpark is all I can do
To let out all the feelings that I have to go through

Threes

At three minutes old my son, as yet unnamed, had been taken into another's
arms for help I could not give him.

At three hours old he was returned to my arms in exchange for my hope.
We baptised him, Alasdair MacKinnon Love, and entrusted his life to God's care.

For three hours we held our beautiful, perfect son, without the tubes which
had sustained his life, and heard his own true voice.

On the third day after our son was born we returned to the room where we had held him.
We were given a "box of memories", and we made his short life official.

Three weeks after our son was born, I longed for a knock at the door,
a visitor with our son in their arms, none came.

After three months I feel the loss of our son as raw as the first day.
I feel trapped and despairing.

In three year's I may have other children, brothers or sisters for Alasdair,
but I will feel no less the emptiness where he should be.
I will see other children of his age, and wonder if he too would laugh and play as they do.

In three decades I may be a grandmother, his siblings grown to be parents themselves.
I will look at them, and at their children, and wonder at the man he would have become.

What do I Mean to You?

The first time we met I was nervous and scared, but I wanted you to like me.
Could you tell?

You were confident and knowledgeable, I was impressed and inspired.
Did you know?

Each time we met you gave me something, more than I can express in words,
and beyond any thanks I can offer.
Was that just routine for you?

When my mind became troubled with concerns a few patient words, or a gesture,
or a comment from you brought relief.
Were you even aware of it?

When my world was shattered you remained constant.
Did you know how much I needed you?

My tragedy has touched you too, and I long to hear you speak of your feelings,
what Alasdair means to you. I feel my son alive when you speak his name.
Do you feel him too?

At times you must be away from me and I feel your absence deep inside.
As well as my need for you I am also concerned.
What is happening to you?

The future is difficult to see, a fragile and wispy vision,
but when I dare to dream of joy I think of sharing it with you.
Will you share your future too?

It seems so apparent in the things that you do but sometimes I wonder:
What do I mean to you?

or

Isaac Teather-Lovejoy

I feel sadder now than I did before

Is it because you are longer gone?

I miss you more than I did last week
Is it because you seem further away?

Tears fall today that were damned up before
Is it the sadness of the year drawing to a close?

So many dreams of what would be
Fallen like Autumn leaves and crushed underfoot.

Isaac, beloved grandson, out of reach and out of sight
But never out of my mind and heart.

by Isaacs grandmother

Missing my baby, So so much
Missing his smell, missing his touch
The pains still sharp, The pains still raw, Each day I miss a little more
I've missed him smile, I've missed him laugh, I've missed him splash in the bath.
I've missed him sit, I've missed him stand, I've missed him walk while hold my hand.
I'll never hear him say my name, I'll never watch him off to play.

I miss you darling every day and will do till my dying day.

by Josie Teather-Lovejoy

or

A Poem in Memory of George Byron-Butler

Five Years

Five years since I held my son
Five years since I washed that little bum
Five years since I saw the sun on your golden hair
God how I wish I could go back there.

The ache and the pain is still here
My mind has reached a level of acceptance that it will always be here
Reminders now, are of things that you will never achieve
So school, certificates, school plays, holidays (particularly holidays) just add to my grief

What a burden we carry, but it is a burden I would not live without
If the choice was to have you, or never to have had you, I have no doubt
For you are our precious most loved son
There will never be another one.

Charlotte Jacobs

I Long

My daughter, Charlotte was stillborn on the 9th May 2001

I long for Charlotte, my Daughter,
But she was born dead.
I long to hold and cuddle her,
But she is beyond my grasp.
I long to gaze into her face,
But memories are all I have
I long for the day before she died,
But time has moved on.
I long for my wife's large tummy,
But it is empty and gone.
I long for an answer,
But there is none.
I long to take our pain away,
But it is all we have.
I long for our spare room to be full,
But the emptiness is always there.
I long for the innocence of childhood,
But that childhood has been torn away.
I long for our hopes to be fulfilled,
But the future isn't full of roses.
I long for a world of peace,
But any world is better than none.
I long for our two miscarraiges,
But there's no justice for Bunting and Iowa.
I long for our four children,
But one is all that breathes,
I long for Charlotte, my Daughter,
But she was born dead.

Martin Jacobs

Lily

Family

One of our daughters does not live
Within the family,
The cemetery's where she is,
Our sweet, dead, baby Lilly.

She lies next to another five
More babies in a plot,
Their row of coffins side by side,
Takes up a one-man slot,

And all their names, one headstone fill,
And brimming signs of grief,
Their grave, it spills with toy windmills,
And teddies tucked in wreaths.

There our babies stay unseen,
Unheard, we know they do,
But when we leave the graveyard scene,
Our babies leave with us too.

And our dead daughter does yet live
Within our family,
Though in the cemetery, she is,
Our sweet, dear, baby Lilly.

Lily

Lilly

How complete a life is even when
Far far less than three score years and ten:
My daughter lasted three score minutes minus one,
But is a part of me now, at least life-long.

How complete was what she said
In sighing first-last breaths:
Much as I dream and dream or think and think it through,
I'll be deciphering her message, at least life-long too.

How complete can a person really be,
With no time to round the personality, but she
Did arrive perfected, who we are, time but distorts,
At least even a long life, is only life-short.

Alexander

My heart is gone, but I'm still there,

In your heart and in the air.

There is no pain that I can feel,

Just the upset, but I will heal.

Do not cry, for I am here,

Wherever you are, I am so near.

Tracy, my mum and Alan, my dad,

Smile for me when you are sad.

or

For Maisy Niamh Marsh

Sorry I didn't get to stay
to laugh to run and play
to be there by your side
I'm sorry I had to die
God sent me down to be with you
to make your loving heart anew
Mummy I wish I could stay just like I heard you pray
to help you look up and see both god and little me
but all the angels did cry when they told little me goodbye,
god didn't take me cause he's mad
he didn't send me to make you sad
but to give up both a chance to be a love so precious don't you see?
Up here no trouble do I see and the pretty angels sing to me
the streets of gold is where I play you'll come here too mummy some day
until the day you join me here I'll love you mummy dear,
each breeze you feel and see bring love and a kiss from me.
xxx

Eloise Osborne

Angel Maisy

From the first time I knew you were in my tummy
I couldn't believe I would be a mummy

I knew the road ahead would be a bumpy ride
but you filled my heart full of pride

Together we travelled all through the hard times
we would always be together till the end of time

Hello my darling, I hope you're well today
I feel you in my tummy you'll soon be on your way

Dark clouds formed one rainy day
then some one told me you were gone that day

Words felt like they were suspended in time
I could not believe in my heart and my mind

We have journeyed so far together already
now i feel my heart so heavy

The moment I saw you so wrinkly and small
my arms felt so empty the feelings so cruel

My darling Maisy my precious star
I know you will never venture too far

In my mind and in my soul
is where you'll be cherished until I am cold

So long, farewell my tiny little baby
no more buts or even maybe

In my heart is where you'll stay
goodnight my darling in this month of may

Up high in the starry night, with angels you'll sing
forever I will love you my baby with wings

written by Eloise's best friend

or

For Taylor Robert Creighton

While you was sleeping

One night while I was sleeping
God came to me and said 'I need a special angel to tend my flower beds
like the rose they must be perfect pure and true
and for this my chosen one again I come to you.
God then took our baby placed a halo round their head and as he turned
and took their hand this is what he said.
'I Know again I cause you pain as I take this one like the rest, but take your peace my child from knowing I come only for the best.

Many times I wonder what nearly could have been
all the thoughts we had for you our hopes and plans and dreams.
they say that time is healer they lied when they told us that.
For the pain keeps getting stronger my feelings hard to hide
the pain in my heart is permenant the tears wil never subside,
my laughter has a hollow ring my smile I wear as a mask, for I'm thinking of my baby boy and what nearly could have been.
Some where up in heaven in that very special place my baby boy is sleeping
good night sweet dreams sleep safe.

Jolene Creighton

I'm An Everyplace Mum

Mum don't mourn for me
I'm still here, though you don't see
I'm right by your side each night and day
And within your heart I long to stay

My body is gone but I'm always near
I'm everything you feel, see or hear
My spirit is free, but I'll never depart
As long as you keep me alive in your heart

I'll never wander out of your sight
I'm the brightest star on a summer night
I'll never be beyond your reach
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach

I'm the colourful leaves when fall comes around
And the pure white snow that blankets the ground
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond
The clear cool water in a quiet pond

I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in spring
The first warm raindrop that April will bring
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine
And you'll see that the face in the moon is mine

When you start thinking there's no one to love you
You can talk to me through the Lord above you
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees
And you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze

I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
And the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep
I'm the smile you see on a baby's face
Just look for me, mum, I'm everyplace...

I'm Here To Help You Cry

I look back with regret to the times in my life when
I failed to reach out to those in need simply because I didn't know what to do or say. If I could do it over...

...I would go immediately to the home of the newly bereaved family

...I would hug and I would listen with my heart

...I would offer no answers

...I would be quiet support, lessen the confusion, no matter how simple the job

...I would not forget the family as the days and weeks passed

...I would call

...I would stop by from time to time with a small something to say I care

...I would offer to help out in small ways to simplify a life filled with confusion

...I would offer help to the children whose grief is so often forgotten

...I would speak of the deceased openly, remembering the joy, the life

...I would welcome tears, for they are healing

...I would listen without judging to voiced guilt, anger, despair

...I would remember when they need help the most, they may not be able to ask

...I would not assume that all was well because
I had not heard otherwise

...I would accept and encourage the expression of grief
in its own way and time

...I would open myself to the pain

...I would share the sorrow

...I would give them my arms and simple words,
I've come to help you cry.

Author Unknown

My Special Daddy

A special daddy chosen for me,
a strong-hearted man is what he'd be.
A wonderful person and so full of dreams,
a man who has fun laughs smiles and gleams.

Someone who'd love me through good times and bad,
one who'd be happy even when sad.
Dad you were chosen to love me so true,
to be there for mummy through and through.

I am the special one who changed your whole life,
I was gone in a second without saying goodbye.
But I know you love me you told me so much,
Although I couldn't see I could feel your gentle touch.

You're my special daddy,
I'll always love you.
I'm sorry things had to be,
but I'll be watching over you.

Our Babies - The Journey's Just Begun

Don't think of them as gone away-

Their journey's just begun,

Life holds so many facets-

This earth is only one.

Just think of them as resting

From the sorrows and the tears

In a place of warmth and comfort

Where there are no days and years.

Think how they must be wishing

That we could know today

How nothing but our sadness

Can really pass away.

And think of them as living

In the hearts of those they touched...

For nothing loved is ever lost

And they were loved so much.

Mum, I Was Not Yours To Keep

Mum, i was not yours to keep
but children never are;
my life and death have touched
others and changed you
in ways you cannot completely
know or understand.
ripples in the pool spreading.
my life and death will enrich your life,
but pain and loss are not my only
legacy
weep, for i am worth every tear,
each worth more than gold,
a gift of love from you to me.
and many die
with no one to weep for them;
but do not weep for my sake.

know and remember -
i never once was touched by fear,
i never was afraid,
i never felt the cold, not once,
nor hunger's pain,
and never, never was alone.
you were with me always.

you gave me a chance to be,
and now i have a spirit and
a soul that can never be lost.
To you my days were few,
to me a lifetime.
A week to a child is a month or
More
To me the days were long
With all my needs supplied by
You till the time came to move
On to better things
Leaving you to pay the higher price.
Living is sometimes harder than
Dying.
So weep, and heal yourself.
You will never be the same;
Allow my life to touch your heart
And you will grow.
Learn from me that life is
Precious
And today is all we have.
Learn to love others
Today not tomorrow
Maybe tomorrow they are gone
Or we are gone.

Learn this and my life has had
Purpose and my death meaning.

We are parted for a little while
But I am with my creator
Who loves us better
Than we love each other.

Remembering

Go ahead and mention my child,

The one that died you know.

Don't worry about hurting me further.

The depth of my pain doesn't show.

Don't worry about making me cry

I'm already crying inside.

Help me to heal by releasing

The tears that I try to hide.

I'm hurt when you just keep silent,

Pretending he didn't exist.

I'd rather you mention my child,

Knowing that he has been missed.

You ask me how I am doing.

I say "pretty good" or "fine".

But healing is something ongoing

I feel it will take a lifetime.

by Elizabeth Dent

My Dad's a Survivor

My Dad is a Survivor
My dad is a survivor too...
which is no surprise to me.
He's always been like a lighthouse
that helps you cross a stormy sea.

But, I walk with my dad each day
to lift him when he's down.
I wipe the tears he hides from others.
He cries when no one's around.

I watch him sit up late at night,
with my picture in his hand.
He cries as he tries to grieve alone,
and wishes he could understand.

My dad is like a tower of strength.
He's the greatest of them all~!
But there's times when he needs to cry...
Please be there when he falls.

Hold his hand or pat his shoulder...
and tell him it's okay.
Be his strength when he's sad,
Help him mourn in his own way.

Now, as I watch over my precious dad
from the Heaven's up above...
I'm so proud that he's a survivor...
And, I can still feel his love!

A Prayer from Iona

We cannot care for them the way we wanted,
Or cradle them or listen for their cry;
But separated as we are by silence,
Love will not die

We cannot watch them growing into childhood
And find a new uniqueness every day;
But special as they would have been among us,
They still will stay.

We cannot know the pain or the potential
Which passing years would summon or reveal;
But for that true fulfilment Jesus promised
We hope and feel

So through the mess of anger, grief and tiredness,
Through tensions will not wholly reconciled,
We give to God the worship of our sorrow
And each dear child

Lord, in your arms which cradle all creation
We rest and place our babies beyond death,
Believing that they now, alive in heaven,
Breathe with your breath.

Do Babies Grow Up in Heaven?

Will I know my baby when we meet again?
Will he have grown up, not be the infant that died in my arms?
Will I recognize him, be able to find him among so many others?
Or will he be a stranger to me, not knowing who I am,
Or me knowing him?

Do babies grow up in Heaven?
He never got his first tooth, or said his first words.
No first shoes, no Santa, no first birthday cake.
Will my son still be a baby when we meet again?

Do babies grow up in Heaven?
Who sings him precious lullabies?
Who holds him close and kisses him everyday?
Who tells him constantly that they love him?

Do babies grow up in Heaven?
When we next meet, will he know me?
Will he want to know me?
Will he be my son who died a baby or a man, fully or grown?
Will I have the joy of being a mother to my son for all eternity?

Do babies grow up in Heaven?
Will I be able to hold him, love him, sing lullabies to him?
Will I ever be able to hold his tiny hand, or will it be a man's hand?
Will I ever have the joy that only holding my son can bring?
I need to know! In heaven, is my baby still a baby?

You Squeeze my Hand

You squeeze my hand and
Cry a little
You cannot comprehend the
Raggletaggle of living
And think it unfair that
Death
Should be the only one
Who knows what he's doing

Roger McGough

By Chance

I'd have been all right
If you hadn't smiled
Lighting your eyes onto mine

But since you did
And we spoke and touched
I've another dream
I've conflict
And loss

Elspeth Sandys

Heaven-Haven

I have desired to go
Where springs not fail,
To fields where flies no sharp and sided hail
And a few lilies blow.

And I have asked to be
Where no storms come,
Where the green swell is in the havens dumb,
And out of the swing of the sea.

Gerard Manley Hopkins

Oh Mother, my mother

Oh Mother, my mother
I touch your tears
invisible fingers
soothing your skin
I know you think of me so often
in the day, in the night,
in your dreams
going into an empty nursery
knowing I'll never be there
but I am…in your heart
in your soul, I shall always be

for you gave so unselfishly
of yourself.
Inside of you, you created
such a world for me
a world of laughter, of love
of sadness, of sorrow
every emotion people come to know
you shared with me.
And even though I may never feel your arms around me
I felt your heart beating,
like a lullaby, singing me to sleep
and your spirit giving me a safe haven
already protecting me
nurturing me
preparing me of things to come.
But sometimes the journey
of life pulls souls apart
and yes, I had to go on
to another place.
I wish I could stay
I wish this was a decision
I could make
and I know you do too.
Know this wherever you are:
I will always remember
that yours was the first love
the first joy, the first soul
I will ever know
you gave me the courage to
go on my journey
I hope I can do the same
for you
Your heart beat will always
call me to you.

Love, your child

Theresa Cochrane

www.growingfamily.com

Oh Father, my father

Close your eyes and feel me near
keep me inside your heart
let me live in your soul
you see through tears
the things we will never do
running across the fields of my youth
games never played
but it is not gone
those dreams you hold so close
for I live on in every child you see
little ones standing alone…lost
or laughing in a playground
swinging so high
touching the tree tops
that is I
wanting just to love
feel my happiness in the song of a bird
see my sorrow in mother
hold her close forever
feeling your strength
for there will be one to come behind me
whether through God's grace or
from a different calling
a child chosen through His hand.
For in darkness, a light will appear
even if it is just the dawn
signaling a new beginning
and as you gather my mother to your heart
release your tears
let the healing begin
and discover that I am here
in your dreams
in your tomorrows.
Every rainbow is the path home
and if you should stumble
I am the wings that shall lift you

Love, your child

Theresa Cochrane

www.growingfamily.com

My Mum is a Survivor

My Mum is a survivor,
Or so I've heard it said.
But I can hear her crying at night,
When all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night,
And go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her,
To help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach,
That never wash away...
I watch over my surviving mum,

Who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others...
A smile of disguise!
But through Heaven's door I see,
Tears flowing from her eyes.
My mum tries to cope with death,
To keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her knows,
It is her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mum,
Through Heaven's open door...
I try to tell her that angels,
Protect me forevermore.
I know that doesn't help her...
Or ease the burden she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her...
And show her that you care.
For no matter what she says...
No matter what she feels,
My surviving mum has a broken heart,
That time won't ever heal.

A Father's Grief

It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief,
Since "men don't cry"
and "men are strong"
No tears can bring relief.

It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test,
And field the calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.

They always ask if she's all right
And what she's going through.
But seldom take his hand and ask,
"My friend, but how are you?"

He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break.
He dries her tears and comforts her,
But "stays strong" for her sake.

It must be very difficult
To start each day anew.
And try to be so very brave-
He lost his baby too.

Fathers Day

A gift for you on Fathers Day,
What on earth could it be?
I know the gift you really want,
Is to once again, have me.
Or perhaps the gift of understanding,
To make sense of a senseless loss.
I'm sorry, my dearest Daddy,
But for those gifts, you must talk to the boss.
The gifts that I can give today,
Are memories, both sad and sweet.
From the touch of your hand on Mummy's tummy,
To my tiny little feet.
Remember the joy you felt inside,
When you found out you would be my Daddy?
The great big smiles upon your face,
You were over the moon, you were so happy.
Remember when you felt me move,
The wonder and love you'd feel?
Remember it today Daddy,
It just might help you heal.
Remember the little cuddles we had,
And the moments that we shared.
Remember my little nose,
And the colour of my hair,
I love you dearest Daddy, you know that this is true.
Just keep your memories of me alive,
And I will always live in you.

His and Hers

Helpless.
They both feel helpless.
But they each seek their own roles.
They have to find a way to cope,
To soothe their shattered souls.
He wants to take away her pain,
And make her safe once more.
She wants to share her tears with him,
Bare herself to the core.
He wants to make it better,
And he wants to be assured,
That everything will be okay.
That their love has endured.
She wants to talk some more about their child who has died.
He thinks that he's done something wrong,
And that is why she sighed.
She's crying once again,
And she won't get out of bed.
He sees her journal perched atop all those books she's read.
She sees him start new projects,
Go to work and watch TV.
She wonders how he does it,how he has the energy.
But sometimes,
There's a moment,
When they're both on the same plane.
Sometimes,
For just a moment,
Their grief seems just the same.
It's in those small shared moments that they need so very much,
That they find each other reaching,
That they find each other's touch.

Touched by Gold...

I was thinking how different life is for me
And about the things that will never be
To watch you grow into that fine young man
For me is now not part of the plan
I realize my life will never be the same
Even though I carry on with life's little game
I can't go back to where I was before
That part of my life is now a closed door
But in spite of the pain I must endure
I want you to know one thing for sure
I wouldn't trade places with any other on earth
And I'm proud to be the one who gave you birth
I live with tragedy and sorrow, that's true
But also a great Love have I shared with you
For you've left a purpose for your Mom and Dad
To let other know of the son we had
I want you to know your story will be told
And others will know I've been touched by Gold

by Carolyn Bryan

Nightwhispers

Someone once asked me about Angels,
And do I believe in the concept of pure innocence?
I believe there are Angels
Of love, of death, of indifference
They are all there- representing every emotion mankind experiences
But innocence……………….that is a separate entity.

A Spirit that none have seen, one that moves through us all, and through everything
Day, night, sun, moon, the whispers of life wrapping gently around the trees
A breeze that lifts one’s hair, ruffling fur on every beast.
This Spirit known by so many names, some forgotten throughout time, some spoken in a soul’s tears
Only such a being could have molded the concept of pure innocence
and only such as the Spirit can chose those strong enough to cherish
Nurture, protect, and love these babes
Those who see it as the ultimate gift to us all
But how quickly we all walk past when the loving parents wish to share their joy with us.
We all see something different than ourselves………….
We see the eyes that are never fully open, who’s actions are not as quick as those around them
We……….we miss so much, we lose the chance to embrace & kiss innocence
A chance to meet one of the Spirits first angels, souls who have never known life
Life as we know it.

They come from a place of pure joy, pure love, pure acceptance of all things
Every second, every sigh, every color, every musical note is a wonder to them
They live only to see the beauty, the light created for their smiles
The Spirit is always overwhelmed in the perfection of these beautiful babes
He holds them close, within the folds of his robes they live, gently they tug at his beard
And their giggles……………..even the chorus of eternity stops to hear such delightful sounds
Gathering them together, the Spirit allows them to chose what parents they wish
Against his better judgement, he lets them come down among us for a while
Praying that this backward human race will learn the simplicity of love, of joy
Of life…………………..that his littlest Angels are made of…………..

And maybe someday we will gain his knowledge, his truth in the wonder he creates
Maybe we will embrace the Angels of pure innocence.
Let’s pray they never stop asking to come down here among us
And to the parents of these angels………………..Thank you, you are truly blessed

Theresa Cochrane December 2003

For Emilie Alexandra Joseph

Don’t hold me in your sorrow,
Please don’t cry for me,
I am where I need to be.
The Angels brought me here,
And they are always near.
You gave me all your love,
And brought it up above.
I feel it everyday,
I am not that far away.
Please don’t cry those tears,
Or waste away your years.
God has work for you,
There is something you must do.
God’s message will be clear,
When the time is near.
Just hold me in your hearts,
We will never be apart.
The Angels love me like you do,
And they take good care of me.
So don’t worry and don’t be sad,
I will be waitng at Heaven’s gate

by Irina Joseph, Mother