
Welcome to
Southampton Sands
HOME ~ WE REMEMBER ~ FORUM ~ SERVICES ~ RESOURCES ~ EVENTS ~ FUNDRAISING ~ GUESTBOOK ~ POEMS ~ MEMORIAL GARDENS ~ CONTACT US ~ SUPPORT ~ MEMBERS ONLY
Resources
Sands publications
National Sands offers a variety of leaflets and booklets offering advice on a number of the common questions about stillbirth and neonatal death.
Sands National Newsletter
Is published three times a year and you will automatically receive it in the post if you become a member of Sands. If you are not a member please contact National Sands ( 020 7436 7940) for further details. They are open Monday - Friday 10am - 5pm. Or click here (PDF) to download a membership form and post it back to Sands Head Office.
Or email the office by clicking here
To place an order, please download a Publications & Resources order form (PDF), print it and post the completed form and payment to Sands Head Office.
Saying Goodbye to Your Baby
(Sands 1999)
A booklet written to help parents and others to understand their feelings of grief after the death of a baby.
ISBN 1 869903 00 5, 26 pages, Price £1.50
Support For You When Your Baby Dies
outlines the support offered by Sands to bereaved parents and those caring for them.
About the other Children
explains how children may perceive the loss of their baby sibling and gives advice about what you can do to help them cope.
Mainly for Fathers
gives information and support for recently bereaved fathers.
For Family and Friends - How you can help
explains common reactions of bereaved parents and how you can help them in their time of grief.
The Loss of your Grandchild
for bereaved grandparents.
Sexual Problems Following a Stillbirth
a Sands fact sheet
The Next Pregnancy: Guidance for Parents
covers topics such as how soon to try again after your loss, being pregnant and when your new baby arrives.
Books about the experience of Baby Loss
When a Baby Dies, The experience of late miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal death
Nancy Kohner and Alix Henley, 2nd edn. Routledge 2001
This sensitive informative book offers a lifeline to bereaved parents and their families and is essential reading for every professional who comes into contact with parents after the death of their baby. Using letters from and interviews with many bereaved parents the authors have written a book, which offers understanding of what it means for a baby to die and the grief that follows. When A Baby Dies also contains valuable information and causes of death, hospital practices, sources of support and the care parents need in future pregnancies.
ISBN 0-415-25276-8, 256 pages, Price £9.99.
Living with Leo
Mario Di Clemente. Bosun Publishing on behalf of Sands, 2004
Leonardo Di Clemente was born on 27 th January 2003 and died the following day. Leo's father, Mario, has written movingly of his experience of prospective fatherhood and the distress of bereavement. Twelve letters written over a year, from a father to his son, tell the story of Mario's life with Leo: of the excitement and anticipation, the grief and loss and perhaps most important of all, the emergence of strength and hope.
The letters are intensely personal and yet universal too, and will strike a chord with any parent who has had to endure the devastating death of a baby.
For more information see the 'Living with Leo' website.
ISBN 0-9546932-0-5, 186 pages : Price £9.99
A Star for Bobby
Helen Keenor. Bosun Publishing on behalf of Sands, 2005
This is a book which talks directly to young children, using language and illustrations they can understand, about the death of a brother or sister, explaining why sometimes these things happen and how this may be making them feel.
When Helen Keenor's baby son, Toby died shortly after birth last year she wanted to explain to her 2 year old daughter Harriet what had happened in a way a little girl could understand. Having searched for a book that would help, Helen, a primary school teacher, decided to write and illustrate a book herself.
A Star for Bobby tells the story of a family of birds. One of the newly hatched birds Bobby, is sick and soon dies. Bobby is buried and his brother and sister, on going to bed that evening, look up at the night sky to see a star shining especially brightly, Bobby's star.
The story lets children know that it isn't their fault their brother or sister has died and that it is all right to feel sad and to say that they are.
ISBN 0954693221, 32 pages: Price £4.99
Fathers Feel Too
Andrew Don, Bosun Publishing on behalf of Sands, 2005
When Andrew Don's baby Lara Jean died at five months in the womb, the hospital consultant sent his wife a condolence letter which didn't mention him. Andrew felt like a non-person.
He writes, "Lara Jean was my baby, too. I'd read the books and seen the movie. I was prepared for fully-fledged fatherhood and had signed up for the full deal." But Andrew felt his intense grief was not taken seriously, that he was expected to take it in his stride.
Seven years on he turned his experience into a book telling the stories of 10 men who have lost babies either during pregnancy, at birth or during the first year of life.
"I wanted to do something specially for men, many of whom still think society requires them to have a stiff upper lip and hold it all together for their partner. Women are encouraged to 'let it all out'. Men, less so. I wanted to tell them, it's okay to cry, it's fine to head-butt the wall, you're allowed to give yourself space to crumble – yes, men are allowed to feel, too."
In this book Andrew's story and the stories of nine other fathers, together describe the raw grief of bereavement and also how several years on, they have found a way to live again.
ISBN 095469323X, 100 pages: price £9.99
A Candle for Lisa
Debbie Ruskin, Pennine Pens, 2002
Lisa Ruskin was born prematurely with serious heart defects. As her mother Debbie recovered consciousness from the emergency Caesarean Section, she was pressed to give consent to switch off Lisa's life support machine. She later learned that Lisa's organs had been retained by the hospital. In this sad but ultimately up-lifting book, Debbie tells of her fight to discover the truth about what happened to herself and Lisa and of her own struggle to overcome her grief. By sharing her moving story with other parents and with health professionals, Debbie hopes some good will come from Lisa's tragic death.
ISBN 1-873378-78-5, 72 pages: Price £4.95
Miscarriage: Women's Experiences and Needs
Christine Moulder, 2nd edn. Routledge 2001
This sympathetic and helpful book explores the many different ways in which women physically experience miscarriage and emotionally react to it. Every aspect of miscarriage is covered, including difficult issues that are often avoided. The book also prvides good practical guidelines for professionals, based on what women themselves say they find helpful.
ISBN 0 -415-25489-2, 304 pages: Price £9.99
Sands Baby Card
This high quality card features the beautiful baby sculpture created by John Roberts for the Sands Garden. The inside has been left blank for your own message. The card can be used by individuals and groups, for example for condolence, or for messages on an anniversary.
Sands Memory Card
The memory card was created to help parents think about what they might like to do soon after their baby has died, to create tangible memories of their baby.
With space for foot and handprints, photos and personal memories, the card can be a precious keepsake in future years.
Sands teardrop stickers
For use on medical files, the brightly coloured teardrop stickers carry the Sands teardrop logo.
The stickers are designed to alert medical professionals to the fact that subject of the file has previously suffered a pregnancy loss. The health worker can then hopefully avoid insensitive questions and treatment.
Guidelines for Professionals: Pregnancy Loss and the Death of a Baby
Nancy Kohner. Sands 1995.
Recommended in Changing Childbirth, Sands Guidelines for Professionals provide clear, detailed and practical guidance for the care and support of women, their partners and families, when a baby dies. The guidance covers both the time in the hospital and in the community. The Guidelines includes principles of good practice, detailed descriptions of and guidelines for good care, and essential factual information for healthcare professionals involved in the care of bereaved parents. This is essential reading for anyone interested in improving practice in care.
ISBN 1 869903 25 0, size A4, 96 pages, Price £6.00.
Understanding Pregnancy Loss: Perspectives and Issues in Care
Christine Moulder. Macmillan 1998.
Primarily aimed at healthcare professionals, this book is based on original research. It provides an insight into women’s experiences of their care following a stillbirth, miscarriage or termination of pregnancy as well as the views and experiences of the significant professionals who provided that care.
ISBN 0 333 72145 4, size 234x156mm, 280 pages, Price £18.99.
• Sands Wristbands (PDF) - in our signature yellow, Sands wristbands feature the words: always loved: never forgotten' alongside two tiny hand and footprints.
• Cross-stitch Kit - also featuring the baby sculpture in the Sands National Memorial Garden, the kit contains all you need to produce a beautiful cross stitch picture.
• pin badges - made of enamel, in the teardrop shape
• pens - ballpoint with the logo printed on the side
• Handout leaflets – third A4 size, in yellow, with information about Sands services and how to contact us.
• A4 & A3 posters – in yellow.
• T-shirts - new ‘light gold’ colour, with the logo on the front and back, in medium, large and extra large sizes
• Ladies polo shirts - also new ‘light gold’ colour, with small logo embroidered on the front, in medium, large and extra large sizes
• Baseball cap - light gold, with the teardrop logo on the front, one size only
• Balloons - yellow, with teardrop logo printed on
Please note that collection tins are available only by direct contact through the Head Office. All other items can be ordered by downloading the order form (PDF) except for the wristbands which can be ordered here (PDF).
© Southampton Sands